Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Great Cats and Great Art

Miss Moo takes a break from her correspondence to ignore the taunts directed at her over on Clarence's blog, Diary of a Bad Cat (not that she would ever set paw into that den of debauchery, but word does get around).  She has confirmed the rumor that Clarence (whose hubris knows no bounds) has nominated himself for a blogging award.  Grammatically-challenged creature that he is, we can all guess where that will end.  Yes, pride goeth before a fall.

So let us ignore all of that, Gentle Reader, and elevate ourselves above the usual piffle which pollutes the internet and discuss Art.  In particular, let us discuss the Ideal Female Figure which has inspired the great artists of the ages.  In the time of the Dutch and Flemish Baroque Masters, the full-figured human female was held in such high regard that today this figure type is described as "Rubenesque".

Pieter Pauwel Rubens Venus at a Mirror  c. 1615
(Miss Moo has cropped this image for modesty's sake.)

Pity the poor humans, whose good sense and appreciation for beauty seem to have declined considerably since those days.  We felines, wise creatures that we are, still prefer to eat our fill and have the the curves to show for it. 

Here is a famous painting featuring one of my favorite beverages:

JohannesVermeer  The Milkmaid  c 1658

Now, imagine how much more famous it would be if only he had included a beautiful full-figured cat.  Miss Moo, for example.

(click to enlarge and enjoy)

If Willem Claesz Heda had painted Yours Truly into this painting, instead of Ham and Silverware, it would be called Voluptuous Cat with Ham and far more worthy of notice .  Where there is ham, there should also be a cat.  (The reverse is also true, of course.)

Still Life with Moo and Ham

Indeed, what if he had added an enormously  handsome tomcat like my cousin Bubba to his still life  Breakfast of Crab?  (The accent in the previous sentence is on the word "enormously", as Cousin Bubba truly is enormous.)  We would no longer call it a "still life" but instead praise it as "the good life".  (And judging by the glint in Cousin Bubba's eyes and the angle of his ears, I would not advise getting between him and that crab.)

Still Life with Crab and Bubba

If Pieter Janssens Elinga had put my cousins Dusty and Patches in Reading Woman, it would be titled Kittens with Yarn and Slippers and earn a more prominent place in the museum.

Dusty and Patches with Yarn and Slippers  

If Tomás Hieppes had painted a fine tomcat like Kitty Boy instead of that scruffy dog in his Garden View with a Dog, his name might be more of a household word today.

Garden View with Kitty Boy

Do cats require great art?  We can live without it.  Truly great art, however, does require cats.

And now, I'm feeling rather hungry.  Perhaps I'll have some ham, crab and milk for my breakfast this morning.  If you'd like to continue looking at art, I highly recommend you peruse the Web Gallery of Art.

*In response to inquiries, Miss Moo adds you may click to enlarge and enjoy all the pictures in this post.

**Shameless plug added by Miss Moo's secretary on April 29, 2010:  Now you can purchase items with artworks from this post (featuring Miss Moo, of course) at Miss Moo's Cafe Press shops:  Ask Miss Moo and Ask Miss Moo Again

3 comments:

Huffle Mawson said...

Hello Miss Moo. You seem like one very smart kitty. That art is definitely improved with the inclusion of a kitty.

Shelly N. said...

Miss Moo, you are a very smart kittie, please continue your blog, Stubby, Hot Pocket and Miss Kitty are very impressed when their momma reads it to them. They need the influence of a high class cat like you.

TESOL certification said...

Such wonderful artworks!