Dear Miss Moo,
My naps have been most rudely interrupted lately by my human. He unceremoniously picks me up out of my comfy chair without so much as a "by your leave" and dumps me onto the floor! Doesn't he appreciate that I'm exhausted after keeping my eye on those sneaky squirrels outside the window all day -- and then amusing him for fifteen whole minutes at a stretch?
I need my beauty sleep. My fur is losing some of its luster -- and my tail is beginning to droop a little. What's a girl to do? Please help!
Seatless in Seattle
My naps have been most rudely interrupted lately by my human. He unceremoniously picks me up out of my comfy chair without so much as a "by your leave" and dumps me onto the floor! Doesn't he appreciate that I'm exhausted after keeping my eye on those sneaky squirrels outside the window all day -- and then amusing him for fifteen whole minutes at a stretch?
I need my beauty sleep. My fur is losing some of its luster -- and my tail is beginning to droop a little. What's a girl to do? Please help!
Seatless in Seattle
Dear Seatless,
Miss Moo deduces from your excessive use of exclamation points and dashes that you are young and have not yet attained the convex silhouette so admired in the fair sex of our species. Rest assured that when you do, your troubles will be all but over. Humans, you see, are reluctant to do any heavy lifting and will avoid it if at all possible. Miss Moo herself has attained such magnificent girth that no human would dare risk his back to forcibly remove her from where she wishes to be.
Until you have gained weight sufficient to deter your human from evicting you from your chosen spot, Miss Moo counsels you to dig your claws deeply into the comfy chair and hold on with all your might. Your human may tire of the struggle and surrender the seat to you. But do work on your figure, my dear. Ham and whipped cream are highly recommended.
Miss Moo
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